keller, grant

[grant keller!]

grant haltom keller ,

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TWENTY-NINE. HAL. VOCALS / RHYTHM. STRAIGHT. HIGH TENDENCIES[/font]

genius . polyamorous . agnostic

Angel, angel what have I done
I've faced the quakes, the wind, the fire
I've conquered country, crown, and throne
Why can't I cross this river,

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PUSCIFER → THE HUMBLING RIVER

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SOUNDTRACK.
_{When asked six months ago, in an interview, which songs would be part of a soundtrack to his life, Grant gave the following responses.}

0. FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH → FAR FROM HOME
_{It's almost like you're heaven's trying everything to break me....}

Most people think that two years ago, Grant Keller - front man of High Tendencies, became sober to better his life - and maybe they're right, in a way. In Grant's eyes, he did it to try and keep his life, though not just meaning literally. No, the man known for polyamory found a woman willing to settle down with him, despite his rather sordid past. One of the conditions of this was his sobriety - imposed not only by the woman herself, but by her family. Leading up to his two years of solid sobriety, the man had several breakdowns from the withdrawal, which her family seemed to think meant he was destined for failure, and tried to come between the pair.

"It was almost like anyone she thought was important, thought I was the scum of the Earth. It didn't matter what she thought, or how much fun we had, or how well we clicked - even when I was high as a kite. They didn't care, and I found myself wondering if anyone would care. The first bit of our relationship, before I got sober, was probably the hardest, because I was on tour at the time, with one of my other bands...and well, let's just say they aren't saints, either. Staying clean while I was away was hard. I managed it, though...because I wanted her more than anything else in the world. I wanted in on her Heaven." --- Grant Keller

1. THEORY OF A DEADMAN → THE BITCH CAME BACK
_{The bitch came back. She couldn't stay away.}

No one had faith in Grant, but he tried. He may have fucked things up considerably, more than once, but he did try. Trying wasn't enough, though, because after a good six months of sobriety, she was packing Grant's things, and sending him packing.

"At the time, I was living at her place when I wasn't touring. Yeah, I was saving a lot of money, since I wasn't using anymore, but I had a lot of debt, too, from when I had been that I needed to pay off, and it made more sense to just co-habitate...except for, you know, when I come home from like...some time at the studio, or whatever the fuck it was, and she had all my shit in a box, and my clothes in a duffel, waiting by the door. We got into this huge argument, and she said she'd met someone else - who she didn't have to worry about relapsing, because he'd never done shit - and that I needed to leave. Like a week later, I've got this apartment, and she's knocking at my door, because his punk ass had run her out of her place with a baseball bat. Fucker was hospitalized that night, and she was back in my arms. Funny how things work, right?" --- Grant Keller

1. THE CURE → BURN
_{There's nothing you can ever say. Nothing you can ever do.}

I know I said that Grant found a woman willing to settle down with him but I never said Grant was willing to settle down fully. She wanted monogamy - marriage, kids, white picket fence, a husband who would ride out the touring cycle for a while, and eventually get tired of being away from his family, and spend the rest of his life living off royalties or some shit like that. This wasn't in the cards for Grant.

"She knew about me. She knew all about me. She wasn't a fan of High Tendencies, per say, though she came to a couple of gigs close to home, and she at least listened to one of the other groups I work with, but really, she was just a stroke of dumb luck for me to run across - and the fact that we clicked was even better. The main problem was everything she'd heard about in the tabloids - which don't get me wrong, they're not entirely false - but she knew I wasn't known to be with just one woman. I guess she thought I was going to change for her or some shit, because it came down to what could have been a knock-down, drag out fight, if I believed in hitting women. Seems she believed in hitting me, though. I came out of it with a bruised jaw, and sans fiance. Oh, and to top it all off? She spits in my motherfucking face and tells me she's pregnant, and having an abortion, to spite my - and I quote - sorry, womanizing ass. Oh, if only I punched women. If only." --- Grant Keller

2. SMILE EMPTY SOUL → BOTTOM OF A BOTTLE
_{I do it for the drugs. I do it just to feel alive.}

While losing her was hard on Grant, it wasn't so much losing her, as what she said about their unborn child, that bothered him. Not that many would have guessed it by looking at the way he acted, but he really wanted children. Of course, most people weren't aware she had said anything like that to Grant, though most were aware of his reaction.

"There was an awful lot going through my mind at that point. I had just lost my fiance, and found out that she was pregnant - or well, she claimed to be anyway. On top of that, we have our falling out as I'm preparing to go back into full band mode. Studio, song writing, touring...the whole thing. In a matter of a couple hours, I lost the woman I wanted to finally come home to -because as fun as the girls I saw on tour were, they weren't what I wanted. Of course, she didn't believe me, so I spent the next few months in some sort of twisted rut. I wrote some brilliant as hell shit - people have said that album was one of our best - but I was also in a really bad place, mentally. I was on the verge of falling back into a rut I'd been in for so long - a rut I had barely gotten out of, and I would have done anything for that crutch, for the euphoria....tot feel alive." ---Grant Keller

3. SHINEDOWN → .45
_{Everyone's pointing their fingers - always condemning me - and nobody knows what I believe.}

Has Grant Keller slipped? Some have said that the tension between the members of the band is thick, and that maybe, but maybe, High Tendencies needs to take a hiatus for a while - that maybe Grant's slipped back off the wagon, and that's the source of the tension. But instead, they're preparing to tour the country again, flying high on success that's rocketed them to the top, despite everything in Keller's life. Seems he never let it get him down enough hit cock bottom. But is he really fit for this?

"You know what, you can go fuck yourself. I've been putting up with this damn interview. I've answered every question under the sun you've asked, no matter how personal, and yet, you're sitting here, bullshitting me about how you think I'm fucking back on heroin... No, we're fucking okay. High Tendencies isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Even if there was tension, or some other bullshit nonsense, we'd move past it, because at the end of the day, HT is bigger than all of us. It's not about me, or them. It's about the music. No one knows what's going on in my head, or even really my life. Stop acting like you do." --- Grant Keller

FILMS.
_{When asked, in the same interview, what his five most watched / loved movies of all time were, Grant responded:}

5. PAN'S LABYRINTH
_{Magic does not exist. Not for you, me, or anyone else.}

"Honestly, it's the type of fairy tale I would tell my kids. Dark, but still with a happy ending, if not a bit bittersweet. When the girl dies, leaving her brother behind, is she really a princess of another realm, or was she just a mortal girl, who either went insane from what she lived with, or who imagined it all, and upon her death, entered her own form of Heaven - one of her own design? I like the openness of it, and the darkness of the tale, and the dual reality." --- Grant Keller

8. DONNIE DARKO
_{28 days.... 6 hours.... 42 minutes.... 12 seconds.... That...is when the world...will end.}

"Deep shit in a deep movie, man. Seriously. Donnie Darko is a fucking genius of a film. You spend the entire movie wondering what the fuck is gonna happen, and then it derails you at the very end, and we learn we're pretty selfish fucks, because we never question the fact that the world ending doesn't have to be the entire world. It could be just the town, or it could be just us. Either way, the world ends, as we know it." --- Grant Keller

13. LET ME IN
_{Do you think there's such a thing as evil?}

"A vampire "love story" done right - and it's with kids. Seriously. You know - through the whole thing , you know, but when Owen finds out.... The book is a piece of work, though. Weird as sin, but brilliant all the same. And I can see why they changed shit for the movie. I really can." --- Grant Keller

21. FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VAGAS
_{There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.}

"Johnny Depp. Drugs. Bat Country. Vegas. Do I really need to explain exactly why this movie is on my list? Do I?" --- Grant Keller

34. THE CROW
_{Greed is for amateurs. Disorder, chaos, anarchy: now that's fun.}

"Another film I would show my kids, though I would watch it with them. A tragic and beautiful story of love, vengeance, and forgiveness. The comic is epic as well. Remember, forgiveness is for the forgiver." --- Grant Keller

ADDICTIONS.

55. SEX

Saying Grant is addicted to sex is accurate, but also, not, all at once. Unlike his other addictions, he's able to control this one fairly well. He can go without it, he just doesn't like to...and he likes it a bit too much.

89. PERFORMING

There is a definite high about being on stage, performing for people - a high that is probably one of the sole reasons Grant is okay with doing bigger tours, bigger shows. He used to be so dead set against the pressure - when they were first starting, but he's more easily swayed, now. The only trouble is, along with the high comes more stress and requirement. The question: can Grant Keller handle it?

144 HEROIN

It's safe to say, of all the drugs Grant Keller ever tried in his life - and he's tried a lot of drugs at least once - that heroin is his favorite. He doesn't care how he takes it, or at least he didn't, before he got cleaned up. He's been struggling to stay sober, recently, and it's rumored that he's fallen off the wagon - even if it's only a bit here and there? Truth be told, off the record - it has been a bit here and there, but with a prior addiction to a drug promising euphoria, at a down point in his life, is it really hard to imagine him picking up the habit again? He's trying to keep it low key, and what he feels is manageable.

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